How To: Stop living for Others, and start living for Yourself.
While sitting in a coffee shop trying to think about what I want to write this week I stumbled across this video from the sweet Via Li. The video is titled “Why you need to Live for yourself and not for Others”.
I have been going through a part of my healing journey that has proven to be the hardest, and this video truly summarized the entire conclusion I arrived at in this journey. Even though a big part of me knew she was right, I still found it hard to stomach.
The truth is, we all want to be appreciated. Feeling loved is addicting, and this addiction can have serious consequences based on the conditions of the love we receive.
Nobody loves us unconditionally… what a harsh truth to be faced with.
I believe a more accurate expression would be that nobody understands us enough to love us unconditionally. Everyone sees the world from their lens and fails to be understanding and mature enough to see things from the other’s perspective.
In my case, I struggle a lot with my mother’s opinion of me. I recently gathered all the courage I have to move out and experience independence. The biggest challenge I had was my Mom.
How am I going to convince her that this is good?
How will I support her financially after I move out knowing that I will have to pay all these extra bills?
How am I going to survive without my mother and my family?
In the end I realized…I am my biggest enemy.
My lack of self-confidence was the only trap I had. Because at the end of the day…who gives a fuck?
This is my life…I only live it once and have to live it good….it is my responsibility to do so. It is my duty. And it is your duty too!
But Wissal…what if I fail? What if they are right?
The truth is life is easier than we make it out to be. I will give you the absolute formula:
make a decision = bear the consequences
There are really no other elements to it. You might spend your whole life overthinking your decisions and the reactions of others but in the end, everything is simple. Take your time to imagine the worst thing that could happen…and see if you can live with it.
Can you?
If yes then do it…if no think of something else…or learn how to live with your current situation.
It might seem harsh but once you remove all the daydreaming and stand in front of the truth… you learn just how easy life is, and how hard it is at the same time.
I am writing this article for all the people who feel like living their own life will lead to disappointing others and are trapped by these imaginary limitations. You can do this on your own. You will be okay, and no matter which decision you make, You always have your back.