How to date men if I hate them?

If you take a stroll down internet lane you will find a lot of TikTok videos, commentary YouTube videos, and blog posts talking about the many horrific things men do and the terrible effect it has on women. 

I know many women who have been personally affected by it by the men in their lives. 

It only makes sense that a lot of women now hold resentment towards men! 

This means that when these women want to date and find a partner, they are unsure of how to deal with these emotions

I have suffered from this firsthand and I could describe it as hyperawareness of the opposite sex’s sexist behavior. 

Every man I went on a date with had to eventually say something that would make my blood boil. 

Really? You love your mom because she sacrificed so much but you can’t wash your underwear yourself to help EASE HER SUFFERING!

Oh, you want a nuclear family but you don’t know a single thing about what goes into childcare and raising children?

You admire your dad for supporting you financially… even though he cheated on your mom multiple times? 

What the heck is going on??

Do these men hear themselves?

That is the feeling I had while going on those dates. 

I want to help you navigate this task without having to be bamboozled like I was 

So here are 4 steps you need to take if you want to date men if you hate them

No rush: you don’t need to date until you make peace with these emotions. 

I think what a lot of women forget is that men are not going anywhere. There are a lot of them (too many if you ask me) so there is NO RUSH. 

Dating is supposed to be a fun activity 

Not an excruciating task that you need to mentally prepare for. 

First, try to practice decentering men. 

What do I mean by decentering men?

Decentering men refers to expecting practically nothing from men. 

Nobody can disappoint you if you don’t expect anything from them! 

Decentering men goes deeper than that.

It is the act of taking away the power the patriarchy gives to men

They are not as smart as you have been told. And their opinion truly doesn’t matter

Once you realize this and start practicing it in your daily life, you will feel this newfound freedom. 

You can dress how you want, act how you want, and be how you want because men..don’t matter. 

After practicing decentering men you will lose your resentment towards them because by decentering them.. You center yourself. 

Be very picky: avoid a mentality of scarcity

Another thing I notice women do a lot is not believe themselves. 

I will scream as loud as I can from the highest rooftops for as long as needed until you get this message: BELIEVE YOURSELF 

When your gut tells you that a man will be a disappointment, believe it. 

 A part of you is recognising a pattern that you might not be able to pinpoint but it exists 

There is no need to go on a date you are not excited for

Be very picky because men are abundant (as I said earlier…there are too many) 

Be ready for disappointment: you hate men for a reason…and that reason is real

The truth of the matter is you have seen one too many examples of disappointing men in your life… and no matter how hard you try to avoid them there is no escape

This is your formal warning 

You will go on dates with men the least I can say about is disappointing, and you need to be ready for that. 

Know your boundaries, protect yourself, and put YOU first. 

Don’t entertain it but also don’t let it discourage you. 

If you want to enjoy dating, you need to understand that it is a journey, with ups and downs. 

And that is okay as long as our standards don’t falter 

Build a community: surround yourself with positive women 

A bad date is not that bad if you can laugh with the group chat about it. 

Having a good circle of women is a piece of advice I will never stop telling. 

A lot of decentering men comes from having a community of women that doesn’t solely discuss men. 

And when they eventually discuss men, they are not seeking validation

 they are seeking benefits. 

They want you to find the man you desire. 

They don’t care if the date you went with likes you or not, but rather if You like him

 They don’t entertain harmful men who just keep reminding you that men are garbage. 

They don’t compete with you over the attention of men, and make you feel like you are not worthy of the love you want. 

Being surrounded by positive women will make you too positive and will help you date more successfully 

Thank you so much for joining me on this blog.

I wish you the best of luck. 

See you next time!